English television

Some more insights into English culture (and while I am at it, I really should come up with some pseudo-desi name for myself)

English television is a far, far cry from American television. American television has a good mix of drama, long-running soaps (I still watch The Bold and Beautiful when I can), reality TV and of course, loads of comedy. I would have expected British television to have a similar diversity given the population here and the exquisite quality of British comedy.

But no, British television is a ringside spectator sport into what was popular English hobbies - of the 19th century. There are an unbelievable number of shows devoted to cooking, a number that is rather proportional to the number of frozen food aisles in the supermarket. So if supply is being met by demand and people are sticking frozen food in the oven, who exactly is learning to cook from the shows which have a wide repertoire - from "Cook yourself thin" that shows you how to cook sinful food in a healthy way, Kitchen garden cooking, quick meals to make, competitions on cooking and what not! My guess would be that the TV shows here are a spectator sport.

Apart from cooking so far, I have watched a few episodes of Eastenders (where people have an unerringly dreadful sense of style) and some random programs involving a kitchen factory where one person shows us how to make whipped cream and dehydrated noodles at home (or a chem lab) and another involving a bunch of popular English comedians led by Stephen Fry spouting utter comic nonsense and getting points for it (mostly negative at that!).

Maybe this rant is coz I have all of 5 channels at this place that I watch in a pre-historic television set (the kind one would use on slide 3 of a History of Television presentation!!) I really do hope the quality of TV programming improves - what on earth is the point of us doing so much work on the Sky EPG if all it does is help us watch crap better?? That would be a sad day at work for a lot of us.

Right, so this was my initial preview of English television - as boring as it it (Thank god for Channel 131)..

London Dreams...

This post is especially dedicated to all the young ones who are stuck with the boring decisions that adults make for them - you may think that when you grow up, you would choose the fun way to do things but the goddamn universe shall conspire against you and allow you to ONLY make the exact, same boring decisions that your parents would - the entire thing is a conspiracy.

I am rather upset - as you can tell by the introduction to this post.
I have been under this illusion that since I am now living alone in a big, bad city like London, I can do as I please and make all my decisions for better or worse by myself and of course, be surrounded by tut-tutting "I-told-you-so" types but I am going to sport selective deafness to those anyways (have a lifetime of experience in that area already :-))

Instead, the first major decision I need to make (where to live) and everyone wants me to live in the boondocks since I work in the boondocks whilst I want to live on MG Road and work in the boondocks. I dont understand this "unimaginable" luxury of living close to work - it is not like I will go home for lunch (who will cook for me) nor have I ever needed an urgent change of clothes and even if I did, the Marks and Spencers outlet near office is closer than any home I have seen so far. All my life, I have studied ad worked outside a minimum 6km radius away from home - which worked out well for me because the sphere of my trouble making skills probably just missed making it home except for the one phone call from the principal's office due to alleged errant behaviour (OK, I was lying, it was 2 calls).

But so far, family, best friends, colleagues have overwhelmingly turned traitor on me and want me to live in the boondocks! Because a. It is cheaper and b. I save on travel time. But I want to live on MG Road so that a. Life as I know it will exist on my doorstep b. Weekends can go by just people watching from my window and c. It is bloody posh to live on MG Road (esp. if I can afford it) - who needs food anyways or 2 kidneys?? Those are luxuries I will gladly fritter away..

In any case, this is just day 2 of the apartment hunt - I am still not settling for the boondocks but trying to find a posh place that will allow me to keep my kidney intact as well. Wish me luck!

PS: I know that I sound every bit like the petulant brat that popular opinion (contrary to my own) makes me out to be but these are trying times and in trying times, everyone acts like a child deprived of their favourite candy..and if they dont, then they aren't really being tried!!

London chronicles - part 1

Hi ya!

This is me in London reporting all the goings-on (at least the uncensored bits). Had this post jotted on my iPod while waiting in the bank but managed to post it only now but most of it is just as relevant so I will post it as a 4 day old post itself...

It's been 3 days since I got to Staines - as a good a time as any to get started on chronicling my adventures here.

First, the weather has been absolutely delightful! It has been hovering around 15 degrees, and although there seems to have been intermittent rain, I have been blissfully oblivious to it indoors. Given my over-exposure to the Bangalore monsoons this year, no complaints on this front (yet!)

[Update from having spent a week here - The weather is every bit as crappy as the Brits warned me it would be - grey skies and the cold is the worst of it - it just envelops you in this numb, chilling, incisive shroud and renders the million layers of clothes that I am wearing absolutely pointless. I could be out stark naked and I am sure to feel just as cold. And apparently this is mild!! I cant even begin to imagine what the "real" winter is going to be like - horrid if the preview is anything to go by.]

The apartment where I am staying is well, odd!! It is run by this nice, albeit scatter-brained couple and has a fair number of oddities. The most startling discovery has been that the shower cubicle is IN the kitchen - yes, in not near or next to, in!! I am yet to see the point of it since I cant really bathe and cook simultaneously nor eat whilst bathing. Although it might work for those leave-in conditioners that need to be washed off after 5 minutes or something - just enough time for a quick bite eh?? The kitchen also has no plug points to operate any other devices so my kettle and toaster are at what seems to be my bedside table in the bedroom. I am rather glad that there are very few things judging by the odd places chosen for all of them.

Work is going ok - people are rather friendly and enquire politely about my general well-being. They have also given me some top class pointers to living here and getting adjusted. All that stuff about the "stiff British upper lip" does exist but in small pockets. And this I must say, even if someone is a tad snarky, they will always politely greet you on your way in or out with a smile. I find it rather unsettling since the same person within the span of 10 minutes will go from snarky man in office to kindly stranger waving you off for the day.

Well, this is a long-ish enough post and I might add a good structure for standard London posts - a quick update on the weather, a fair bit abt the apartment (I am in the process of apartment hunting now so there is lots to say) and of course, a wee bit on work - the reason I am here to begin with..

Right ho!

Tatvam #7

In my company, you are as powerful as the # of people who report to you - not # not quality so 5 VP's < 20 peons.

Tatvam #6

Corporate Vision is treated like a local variable: it does not exist outside the function in which it is created.

Outliers Complement!

So, as part of my holiday reading, figured I would start with least-likely-book-to-read when the momentum is high and proceed to the books-i-would-anyway-read as this dips.

Started with Outliers and am 3 chapters down - there have been 2 points made so far and I seem to fit neither of the arguments - as of now I am an Outlier complement.

Lets see how many readers on this blog (if there still are any left) fit this?

1. The first theory that MG makes is that of cumulative advantage - you start as the oldest kid in class which gives you an advantage (better grades, better co-ordination skills) and then that advantage gets honed as you get selected for team sports or you top the class and get selected for greater things!

Essentially if your school year starts in June (as it does in India) and you complete your xth birthday (x = minimum cut-off age to be in LKG) by June, you join the class - else you wait out the year and join a year late. So, people who are born after June have a head-start than those born earlier and this is the start of a lifetime of cumulative advantages.

Outlier complement's take: I am born in March and fit the disadvantage of being the younger kid in class. Additionally, given what a trial I was turning out to be at home, my parents managed to get me into school an entire year earlier than other people. Consequently, I have been the youngest in my class and I have still managed to top class, bla bla, bla blah! I defeat the cumulative advantage since I started out with a significant handicap and still fared better than most.I must be genius right? Apparently not - by the next point that he makes

2. 10,000 hour rule - Every one is born with a mild talent - hard work and practice converts that to genius! If you put in 10,000 hours at something, you will be good at it - well evidently you would.

Outlier complement's take: I have not put in 10,000 hours into anything and not that I am genius but I reasonably good at most things.

Bottomline - This book is for fighters - people who use the long route to get anywhere. I am more of a chotta "photcut" person so this will just be light reading I guess..

Next book on the list: Orwell's 1984 or Nabokov's Pnin

On the eve of 26/11/09

(Disclaimer - This is a random rumination. Don't go beyond the surface - you will find the silt at the bottom of the pool)

Predictably media hype kills any national sentiment or musings that the 1 year anniversary of the most publicized terror attack in India might awaken. I choose the adjective "publicized" instead of the "barbaric", "life-altering" hyperbole that is forced down our throats ad-infinitum by the media.

The bitter after-taste of any media exposure lingers.

But as I watch people (some sensible, others not) respond to the event, I try to understand what I feel about an event that has grabbed newspaper headlines, has heralded recognition for the police workforce in India, has allowed regionalism to rear and then cow down its ugly head but mostly, has been the closest brush with that omnipresent tangible in today's world- terror, for my generation.

As a seemingly involved but largely apathetic Indian, 26/11 lulled into me a false sense of patriotism - I pretended to be outraged just like everyone else that jihad had found its way into my backyard, that terrorism was now affecting people I knew and cared about; I laughed at the P3P's making fools of themselves on national television; I felt for the plight of the little orphan Moshe. But I did nothing. I did not raise my voice, I did not stop doing whatever it is I was before 26/11.

One year later, when the entire nation is whipped into a patriotic frenzy that we generally reserve for Indo-Pak cricket matches, I am a little more aware that this is a passing phase for most of us - like it was last year, like it will be next year.

So, does my apathy make me any less of an Indian than the jhanda-carrying-slogan-shouting girl who will be part of that procession in front of the Gateway of India?

We are both echoing our impotence in being able to change anything. She, by being part of a bigger identity, by trying - Me, by hiding my helplessness behind this veneer of complacence that the urban India calls awareness.

I don't know the point of this post - perhaps there is none or perhaps it is an open call - Can we do anything? I know we should and I know that if we know how, we probably will. But can we?